Written by Gail Farrelly

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Sunday, 1 April 2007

image for Former Wives of Republican Presidential Candidates to be "Taken Care Of" on Skywalk
Chains can be broken. The sky's the limit.

The Grand Old Party, the Party of family values, has a problem. Too many wives, too many families.

Turns out Presidential hopefuls Rudy Giuliani, Newt Gingrich, and John McCain have five former wives among them -- Giuliani and Gingrich have two each, and McCain one. Anyway, it's five too many, according to the Republican National Committee, which has reportedly developed a nefarious scheme to remove the five-headed "blight." The Spoof has learned that the ladies would be invited to a special showing of the brand-new skywalk over the Grand Canyon. Once there, they'd be forced to "walk the plank."

As authorities investigate the scheme, rumors swirl that one of the three Republican politicians mentioned above wanted to throw his CURRENT wife "into the mix" as well, just to make the Skywalk Party a nice and even "half dozen."

Republican spokesmen deny that consultants from TV's "The Sopranos" have been hired to give advice to The Grand Old Party. Nor will they be revealing the names of the consultants they ARE using. "It's all in the family," they claim.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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