Manhattan, NY - (Ass Mess): "Maybe they shoulda used carob!Helluva lot cheaper. No lacto-allergens, calorie-friendly, rich in organic nutrients. And unlikely to deprave.
"Just cos there's no loincloth don't mean nothin'. Some perv gonna break off the phallus? Gobble it up infront of six year olds? Says who? The Pope? He sure knows all about that!"
That's the official advice from one Lexington/47th Street regular following outpourings of pious outrage when The Lab gallery announced its Holy Week exhibit 'My Sweet Lord', a milk chocolate Jesus hanging on the cross by artist Cosimo Cavallaro.
But Catholic League zealots feel it's really personal.
"One of the worst assaults on Christian sensibilities ever," said Bill Donohoe, a League mouthpiece.
At the heart of the tirade is 200lb of chocky Jesus, unburdened by the traditional depiction of St Veronica's veil over his genitals.
The Lab gallery's Matt Semler is unrepentant.
"If we wanted to shock we could have exhibited 20,000 photos of consecrated priests, bishops, cardinals and popes busted for child molesting since 1900."
The exhibition opens on Monday.