HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA--(BREAKING NEWS) Sanjaya Malakar, the latest American hopeful destine to be this seasons "American Idol" winner has been exposed as a fraud. Audiences had to endure total degradation of music and good taste due to his weak & frail singing and let's not forget that hair, but, the numbers from his fan base kept the wonder kid going week after.
There seemed to be no stopping this locomotive from Hell, until a call came into American Idol show switchboard last night with news which will ultimately call for an investigation into fraud and a possible arrest.
Melvin Fink, a Seattle Verizon routing technician, while performing a daily trunk monitoring procedure, noticed a spike coming in from a land line satellite back up site piped in from Canada.
This exterior fiber-optic line originates from a satellite dish located in the wilderness of Vancouver about 10 miles away at the Golden Ears Provincial Tech Park relay station & is used in case of dish malfunction or maintenance on the US side.
"I called our counter parts in Canada to ask about the unusual streaming coming through the pipe", explains Melvin, "Their equipment could not detect any irregularities. So I hung up and called Verizon security. They investigated by following the under & over ground line path with the help of a chopper and a ground patrol car."
"About ten miles from the US/Canadian border in the small town of Lynden, along route 539, on Kok Rd. is an industrial park, Security noticed linemen working on a pole in an unmarked black van. Lynden Sheriff department was radioed to come and investigate."
"Upon arrival the suspects attempted to run, but, were quickly out numbered by the show of force, Fink continues, "That's when Seattle authorities made a shocking discovery. The two men were Al-Qaeda members dressed as Verizon employees. Sophisticated telecommunication devices were found inside the van along with a banner that read, "Long Live Sanjaya Malakar". They called me back with the information which I passed on to "American Idol" staff."
The sleeper cell captured in Washington state blows the lid off this suspicious voting pattern emanating from that northwest area. Department of Homeland Security has taken over the investigation and has arrested, Sanjaya Malakar for questioning to the delight of American Idol fans and roosters all around the world.
Authorities announced there will be more arrest to come in this case.