Washington, D.C.: Authorities detained a suspicious man Tuesday lurking around the White House and discovered a holster for a Mac-10 machine gun under his jacket.
"When confronted he started ranting about not being able to afford the special baby food his infant needs," said a Secret Service spokesman. "Apparently he's receiving a government disability check and can't afford the baby's medicine."
"It's unfortunate that he chose to take the law into his own hands. That was his intent. He has continued to remain hostile under questioning."
A witness at the scene overheard him shout "I dumped the gun in the Potomac!"
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