Written by Ed E. Druckman
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Tuesday, 27 March 2007

image for Topless MILF Iraqi Protestors Sign with Vivid Video

(Hollywood--CA) Steven Hirsch, President of adult entertainment behemoth Vivid Video, is a pornographer with a social conscience. "I was at the anti-Iraq war protest at the Pentagon a few weeks ago. And I see these five topless mothers each carrying a sign that read 'War is indecent,' and I'm thinking hot moms, politically committed finally an adult film where you can use the Kleenex to blow your nose too."

Hirsch immediately asked the five women a very important question. "Please, please for the love of our country, tell me none of you had implants, because if a woman lies about her breasts, are you going to listen to her politics? Tyra Banks debates Dolly Parton. Who are you going to listen to? The last thing this industry needs is a Sindee Sheehan."

The film, tentatively titled A MILF's Tail, follows the five women as they make their way through Congress attempting to persuade Republican Senators to rethink their position on the war. What has been Hirsch's biggest obstacle? "Calls from Ted Kennedy to be in the movie. I have to keep telling him that we're not after the hearts and minds of Democrats. And to be honest, I'm not into the realty thing of using actual members of Congress. Let's face it. Both parties have screwed up Iraq. I don't need them screwing up my movie. Ted Kennedy…if I want fat and horny, I'll call Ron Jeremy."

Needless to say there has been controversy. Hirsch admitted, "there are some mothers who think these five have sold out, that they have betrayed their children. Note that I say 'mothers' not 'MILFs'. MILFS understand their power." Indeed, one MILF star, who agreed to speak under the condition of anonymity, agreed. "This war needs to come to a climax, and I plan to bring it to one…if I'm lucky several."

White House Press Secretary Tony Snow issued this statement on behalf of George Bush. "The President believes everyone has the right to free speech, but when Jenna Haze or Asia Carrera speak on the Iraqi conflict, he'll immediately meet with them as many times as is needed."

Hirsch remains undeterred. "I plan on making a politically aware piece of pornography that will show the senselessness of this war through these five very hot mothers. These women are mad and horny. They want answers. They want sex, and lots of both."

IN A RELATED NOTE: Hooters waitress announced that they will stage a war protest by wearing over sized sweaters for "A Day Without Cleavage."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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