Written by John Andreini
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Topics: Karl Rove

Tuesday, 27 March 2007

image for Rove Testimony Comes with Conditions

WASHINGTON D.C. - Amid the swirl of controversy surrounding the firing of eight U.S. attorneys allegedly for political reasons, what the president did or did not know remains under scrutiny. One of the president's chief advisors, Karl Rove, has been served a subpoena by congress to testify on the White House's participation in the firings.

At first the White House refused to allow Rove to testify, then set strict guidelines for an off-the-record conversation with congressional investigators. Today a White House spokesperson said that Rove has agreed to testify before congress, under the following conditions:

  1. All questions must be submitted to Mr. Rove one week prior to his testimony, and they must be written in iambic pentameter
  2. Questions will contain no more than twelve vowels
  3. The hearing room must be spiritually cleansed by a Hopi medicine man 24 hours prior to Mr. Rove's testimony
  4. Representatives participating in the hearings must wear hazmat suits and steel-toed boots
  5. Through an interpreter, Mr. Rove will answer questions in Urdu. No one may say "Mr. Rove" aloud
  6. A goat must be sacrificed and its blood sprinkled on the House majority leader between question 4 and 5

(Failure to strictly adhere to the following conditions will result in the immediate cancellation of Mr. Rove's testimony.)

Congressional Democrats are reportedly incensed by the stipulations, but may have little choice but to accept them in order to compel Rove's testimony.

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