WASHINGTON D.C. - President Bush was shaken but unharmed in a brush with reality this afternoon near the White House. Quick acting secret service agents were able to shield the President from the fast moving burst of truth and avert any injury.
The incident took place when the driver of the president's car inadvertently came close enough to a group of anti-war protesters for Bush to read their signs. Not understanding the risk involved, the president started reading the words on the sign aloud, but agents quickly blocked his view and the car sped away down Pennsylvania Avenue.
At a hastily called news conference, White House press secretary Tony Snow assured the nation that President Bush had not been harmed in any way. "Make no mistake, it was a serious situation," said Snow. "But the presidents security detail acted swiftly to protect the president from potentially harmful unfiltered information."
Snow read a brief note from the president to the American people: "My fellow Americans. Thank you so much for your outpouring of concern for my wellbeing. I am fine and in good spirits. My brave security people, who daily risk their lives to keep me ignorant, thwarted a terrorist attack this afternoon. For that, they deserve all of our praise. Thank you again for prayers and well wishes."
The president is expected to maintain his normal schedule in the coming days, although while traveling he will wear specially designed prescription blinders.