Written by K.C. Bell
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Karl Rove

Monday, 26 March 2007

image for Water Boarding For Karl Rove And Harriet Miers
"Harriet cooked this, too?"

Washington Toast - Frustrated by the White House insistence that it will not allow sworn testimony by Karl Rove and Harriet Miers, (maybe they don't want to be trapped up in an undertow of lies?) Senator Patrick Leahy, head of the Senate Judiciary Committee, announced a compromise and suggested the use of water boarding on the pair. Not exactly like surf boarding on a sunny beach in Hawaii, water boarding is a practice approved of by the Bush administration and used during the interrogation of suspected terrorists.

Senator Leahy insisted that Rove and Miers can either plant a hand on a bible or a body on a board. It was up to them.

The president announced that he would not allow members of his staff treated like suspected international terrorists. He suggested that perhaps Roberto Gonzales could hold his breath for an hour, but Harriet Miers would be a goner. The president emphasized that she has a mother and grandmother to take care of, and her newspaper route, and she has a job mowing lawns and the parish cake sales. It was bad enough she had to wear Condoleezza Rice's hand-me-downs and Laura's old shoes, but this was going beyond the call of duty for government service.

The Senator pointed out that she was the White House Counsel and a rejected appointee to the U. S. Supreme Court.

"That was a drone appointment to get Judge Alito on the bench. Nominate Osama bin Laden and the next nominee is a shoo-in. Like nominate Harriet for Secretary of Defense and Cheney would be a shoo-in. Harriet also helps with the four o'clock tea service at the Mayflower Hotel on Sundays. The woman is really a photo op filler at the White House and wears a dozen hats, (not the Queen Elizabeth kind of hat) but she doesn't really do anything important here.

"Her hand on the bible or her body on the board. This will add to her extensive resume. The same goes for Rove.

"Rove is a cinch. The man can breathe through his toes. No problem for Rove or Gonzales, but Harriet is not negotiable.

"In that case, she better sprout gills."

Read more by this author:

Make K.C. Bell's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 multiplied by 1?

3 2 1 8

Go to top