An article to be published Monday in the prestigious Del Rio Journal Of Abnormal Psychology,authored by a team of researchers led by Dr. Caleb Baker, Chairman of the Department of Human and Animal Psychology, and Social Work at the University of Texas-Del Rio, claims that writers of news parodies and other humerous pieces are less likely to be mass murderers than the general population.
The study is based on an analysis of 10,337 surveys completed by the 2750 contributors to the TheSpoof.com, a prestigious website devoted to publishing parodies of news articles and satires of the highest order.
According to the article, not one writer for TheSpoof.com answered the question: "Are you a mass murderer?" with a "yes." "Case closed as far as I'm concerned," Dr. Baker said in a phone interview from his office at the University of Texas-Del Rio. "There are no mass murderers who write for TheSpoof.com. But you need to look at all the results to get a complete psychological profile of contributors to theTheSpoof.com."
According to the article:
73.5% of the contributors to TheSpoof.com have not had sex in at least five years. The other 26.5% are unmarried;
91.7% of the contributors to TheSpoof.com believe their pets exercise mind control over them;
100% of the contributors to TheSpoof.com believe that other articles published in TheSpoof.com are not as funny as their contributions;
100% of the contributors to TheSpoof.com believe that other contributors of TheSpoof.com have plagiarized their ideas;
79.5% of the contributors to TheSpoof.com said that unless they took every day three times the FDA recommended dosage of Prozac, Zoloft, or Welbutrin, they could not get out of bed to use the potty;
82.5% believe that Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie are doing a great job as the joint representatives of the United States to the United Nations; and,
81.6% buy their assault rifles and ammo at Wal-Mart.
"What impressed me the most," said Dr. Baker "Was the overwhelming response to our survey. Normally a response rate of 50% is great, but a response rate of 375.9% is most unusual. I want to thank the editors of TheSpoof.com for allowing us to send our survey electronically to their contributors."
Other websites noted for their parodies of news articles, such as the websites maintained by the Washington Post and New York Times, were quick to challenge the validity of the study. Arthur O. Sulzberger, Jr., Publisher of the New York Times, quickly responded to our phone call. "The study is bogus. There is no University of Texas-Del Rio."
However, an unidentified spokesman for the University of Texas System had this to say: "There is a University of Texas-Del Rio. We don't like to speak about it because we find it somewhat of an embarrassment. Remember, I gave this information to you anonymously, if my bosses find out I'm fired."