Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Miss USA

Saturday, 24 March 2007

image for Dental Recount Ordered after Miss Tennessee Crowned Miss USA 2007
32 teeth is human, 36 probably equine

Los Angeles - (Ass Press): What should have been Miss Tennessee, Rachel Smith's crowning glory moment as judges voted her this year's Miss USA on Friday night has been marred by a challenge from the American Union of Dentists.

The AUD says that the luscious 21 year old journalism graduate has more than the statutory requirement of 32 teeth in her pretty little mouth.

AUD spokesman Larry Gnasherschwitz told a LA press conference: "I was sitting in the front row when the cameras started flashing and the lady gave her biggest smile.

"From my vantage position I could clearly see there was something very wrong.

"So I counted. And counted. And what I counted was that there are 36 of the little beauties inside Miss Tennessee's mouth, which is roughly what a horse has.

"And what's more whoever applied the veneers must have been an amateur. Dental Grade Five Radiant White reflects camera flash enough to cause significant eye injury to anybody standing within six feet.

"Mostly it's used for special effects in horror films such as Dracula. I would have cautioned against such a drastic coloration."

The AUD has now filed an official complaint to the Miss USA organisers saying that under their Rules of Contest. 32 is always both the minimum and maximum requirement for a contestant's teeth and any infringement constitutes an immediate disqualification.

But Ms Smith appears to be unrepentant today and her spokesman says she'll be keeping her mouth firmly shut and her lips sealed until the controversy blows over.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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