Washington AC/DC - (Ass Mess): White House spokesman Tony Snow has said he is taking some sick leave to have a mole removed from his ass.
The mole, believed to be a former KGB operative, became embedded over ten years ago and has stubbornly remained ever since.
The move comes amid claims of a rift with one of General Colon Bowel's colonic irrigation masseurs, who may have had a hand in putting a squeeze on the pesky problem.
There have also been stories of worrying links to Mark Foley's intern pals ever since Snow was seen last year dining intimately a deux with Yale scholarship boy Euan Blair, son of the UK Prime Monster.
Snow will be replaced by a variety of holographic projections of famous previous White House press corpse spokesmen with voice-overs provided by actors who formerly worked on the blockbuster cartoon Southpark.
Anne Coulter failed the audition.