Written by Skews Me
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Friday, 23 March 2007

image for Doomed cat exhibits reading ability, says owner
Please don't send me up the river

Tigger the cat got a new lease on life the other day. Owner Perl Gates explained, "He was never really nice. If you tried to pet him he'd go crazy and viciously attack your hand. But on Wednesday that all changed."

Perl had brought her pet carrier out of storage with the intent of taking Tigger to the local humane society when the cat made a dash for her son's Ouija Board.

"Tigger batted the pointer around then sat up tall and proud. When I looked at the board, I saw that he had pointed to the word 'No' clear as day. I was shocked.

"When I asked Tigger if he was going to be a nice kitty he once again moved the pointer, this time pointing it to 'Yes.' I certainly can't get rid of him now."

The Spoof, sceptical of Tigger's prowess, asked several questions to the cat through Perl. At no time did the feline show any interest in the Ouija Board. To the contrary, attempts to nudge the pointer at Tigger's feet brought only growls and hisses and a nasty gash on this reporter's hand.

Copyright © 2007, SkewsMe

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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