Written by K.C. Bell
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Topics: Al Gore

Friday, 23 March 2007

image for Al Gore Explodes
"Up, up and no way."

After viewing the David Letterman Late Show depiction of how Gore entered the capital to address the congress on global warming, - the top of the dome was cracked open, raised and tilted to one side, while a crane lowered Gore through the enormous opening, dropping him with a thump - the former Vice President exploded in a hunger rage and surged toward the refrigerator taking a bite out of the cat on the way, grabbing at some fried chicken, fudge brownies, cold pizza, vanilla ice cream, mashed potatoes and washing it all down with organic non fat milk.

While at the other end of Washington, D.C., in the upstairs White House Lincoln bedroom, President Bush practiced his, "I am not a crook" speech, trying with keen concentration and repetition to remember to include the word: NOT.

No one could have predicted this strange reversal of fortune a few years ago when Bush, costumed in a padded green air force jump suit, strutted across the deck of the U.S.S. Lincoln, to announce, "Mission Accomplished!"; proving C- students can continue in the downward spiral, heading toward failure, canceling hope of any great expectations. Not a crook. Not a crook. Not a crook.

Having won the girth battle and two Academy Awards, former vice president Al, "Pass the turkey leg" Gore, also maintains a higher approval rating than Bush, along with rock star status, freely speaking before congressional committees, in completed sentences, accepting all questions, and is not confined to read speeches before bespoke flag waving audiences on military bases. So he has an eating issue. Considering the outcome of the 2000 presidential election, and where the United States has traveled, - with the aid of vote count bungling and Supreme Court interference - overeating appears a welcomed alternative to what might have been: "Pass the neutron depth charge."

Still trying to cover up the political reasons for firing 8 U.S. Attorneys before Christmas and offering testimony from witnesses without taking an oath, (I am not a crook. I am not a crook. I am not a crook.) Bush insists he has nothing to hide. "Trust me. I am a crook."

"Pass the macaroni and cheese."

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