Written by Gail Farrelly
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Topics: Knut, Newt Gingrich

Friday, 23 March 2007

image for Newt Gingrich Changes Spelling of His Name
The new, cuddly "Knut"

He decided when he read about a cuddly little German polar bear cub by the name of Knut, abandoned by his mother Tosca, that has captured the world's attention.

The former Speaker of the House and possible presidential candidate reasoned that HE wanted to capture the world's attention too, and maybe he'd stand a better chance if he spelled HIS name "Knut." And if, as a side effect, people come to think of him as "cuddly" and as someone to be protected, well that's all to the good.

Now he's working on the "Gingrich" part of his name, considering some changes there, which could be more of a challenge. Word has leaked from his staff that he wants a new name that would present an especially positive, upbeat image. But he only wants to change a few letters of the old name. He's considered several suggestions. No final decision yet, but so far the leaders of the pack are "GetRich" and "BringRich."

Campaign supporters with additional suggestions are invited to submit them.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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