In an important speech delivered yesterday to the Del Rio Chamber of Commerce in Del Rio, Texas, the Shiek Formerly Known As President Bush, provided more details on his controversial plan to hire unemployed East German Volkspolizei to patrol the border with Mexico, and to issue them a "Shoot To Kill Order."
"We cannot rely solely on my Islamic Conversion Initiative to halt illegal immigration from Mexico. Making the United States a less friendly place to Mexican Catholics is part of the solution. Not the entire solution," said the Shiek Formerly Known As President Bush.
The Sheik Formerly Known As President Bush outlined his plans on how the "Shoot To Kill" order would be implemented. The Volkspolizei would patrol the 100-yard free fire zone just south of the new 20-foot high electric fence. "This zone,"The Shiek Formerly Known As President Bush said "would be declared a free-fire zone (FFZ) and patrolled by a force of Volkspolizei with orders to 'Shoot To Kill.'"
The Sheik Formerly Known As President Bush said his plan to hire former East German Volkspolizei, that have been unemployed since the reunion of Germany, is the right thing to do. "It would be a waste of time and money to train new guards. The Volkspolizei know how to shoot to kill. Now their skill and training are being wasted. It is also a humanitarian policy. It is a way to salvage their shattered lives and give back to these men a purpose in life. Do you want them to spend the rest of their lives sitting around Dresden watching Danish porno on their TVs as they drink beer and fart?"
The Sheik Formerly Known As President Bush said his plan has the full backing of Congress. An early sticking point was the "shoot to kill order" for the Volkspolizei.
"It wasn't easy" said The Sheik Formerly Known As President Bush. "There was a lot of opposition from the Democrats in Congress. But here, Senator Kennedy (Democrat: Soviet Republic of Massachusetts) brokered a compromise. He told me that that he would push my proposal in the Senate for hiring the man Volkspolizei if they were armed with water pistols. I readily agreed."
The Sheik Formerly Known As President Bush had to cut his speech short because of excruciating pain. Many times during his speech, The Sheik Formerly Known As President Bush reached under his flowing Yemeni robes to scratch his crotch. According to his physician, The Sheik Formerly Known As President Bush is suffering from an antibiotic resistant infection that was caused by his recent circumcision-a requirement of his Islamic faith.
Following the Shiek Formerly Known As President Bush's speech Dr. Georgina, Spelvin the Dean of the School of Performing Arts and Sexual Education at the University of Texas--Del Rio, gave a progress report on the construction on the university's campus of the Adult Movie Hall of Fame and Western Branch of the William Jefferson Clinton Presidential Library.
Ms. Spelvin's speech aroused her audience.