Written by Ed E. Druckman
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Wednesday, 21 March 2007

image for Donald Rumsfeld Reaches Autistic Toddler

(Hollywood-Florida) He may no longer be the Secretary of Defense, but Donald Rumsfeld is still causing controversy because of an eBay auction sketch of Rumsfeld. Three-year-old Jane Chaucer, who is autistic, drew it. It seems that Jane had not been responding to her art therapy until she saw a recent PBS Frontline retrospective on the former Secretary of Defense's vision for Iraq, "If Mr. Magoo Ran The War On Terror."

"It was quite amazing," recalled her art therapy teacher, Melanie Weller-Zanesville. "For three months, I couldn't reach her. And I tried every media: paints, clay, play-dough. Then, her Dad had the TV on and Rumsfeld came on. Jane was transfixed. She began feeling the screen, especially the part where his glasses were. She then pointed to the charcoals, which I never thought of, and well, the rest will be on eBay."

Jane's father, Geoff, still finds it hard to believe. "She sat there, on the floor, in front of the TV going from Rumsfeld to her pad and back. Occasionally, she'd hold-up her thumb. And though I can't be sure, I think she even knew what he was saying and may not have agreed with it because at one point she put up her middle finger."

Calls to Rumsfeld's spokesman were returned with a written statement: "Former Secretary Rumsfeld has seen the rendering and is pleased with the image. He is especially happy that little Jane decided to be generous and leave out the gray hair."

As is expected in the art world, there have been some critics, most notably Christo who squared off with the artist herself on the CBS Early Show: "I see no resemblance between these "lines" and Secretary Rumsfeld. This is not art. For Picasso's sake, it's charcoal!" The 15 minute harangue ended with "however, I am available to cover it, providing it stays covered" and an obscene Bulgarian gesture. On a related note, the FCC is still determining if they will fine CBS for the gesture.

For his part, Jane's father admits that he believes the image could fetch as much on eBay as the "Virgin Mary grill cheese sandwich." But Chaucer "still will keep a low reserve on it, because art should be for everyone not just the masses." Further calls to former Defense Secretary's spokesman on if he will bid on the item have not yet been returned.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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