Bush can't believe that Americans are not patient enough to endure more than three thousand dead US soldiers and countless Iraqi casualities. The Decider-in-Chief is urging the American people to be patient because: "This war is winnable!"
Bush confided in our Spoofporter for TheSpoof.com in an exclusive interview: "If only US citizens could go back to sleep and plunge themselves into the apathy that allowed us to pile the bodies to the sky, we could win this war and our great nation of 300 million people would hardly miss the 6-9-12 thousand dead it will take.
"I don't know anyone who has died in Iraq personally, no Yalees, no Crimsons, not a single skull or bones has come home with any connection to our secret Ivy League society. Whoever these people dying in US uniforms in Iraq clearly they have no connection to the people that really matter in America!
"Patience is a virtue! The problem in Viet Nam was that the US citizen did not have the stomach for 58, 000 dead Americans. Just give me the time and I can win this war but if you start panicking at a mere three or four thousand dead bodies we will never convince the enemy that we are more savage than they are."
"Do what I do", Bush advised the American public, "Don't read the news, watch Fox, and never, never go to a military funeral. . . what bummers those cryfests are!"