Written by Selmer
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Topics: Republicans, Law

Wednesday, 21 March 2007

image for English Only Legislation Spin-Offs
Arabic?! All opposed?

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- As the presidential election campaign gets into full swing, expect Republicans to start rolling out some of their old tried and true proposals to energize the base, things like flag burning bans, gay marriage prohibitions, and English as the official language.

Rumblings within the party suggest that English only measures may be complimented with several other new ideas. Among the ideas being discussed:

  • Making clock-wise the official direction for clocks.
  • Making left to right the official direction for reading.
  • Making the sun the official star.
  • Making January the official start of a new year.

The proposal to make Arabic numerals the official numbering system met some initial resistance. Many of the party faithful refused to consider anything that is Arabic until it was pointed out that the numbering system currently used is Arabic numerals. Even then, the idea moved forward only after an amendment was offered to change the name to Freedom numerals, in support of our troops.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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