Written by The Watch Dog
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Tuesday, 20 March 2007

image for Porn Star Claims Pelosi Was In Adult Films In The Early Seventies
Nancy Pelosi as she appeared in the 1970s, trying to break into the adult film industry

Former adult film Actress Georgina Spelvin claims in her just published autobiography, The Devil in Miss Michelle Graham, that Nancy Pelosi appeared in a number of adult films made in the early 1970s. Most shocking of all the claims made, in this tell-all autobiography, is that Nancy Pelosi was Ms. Spelvin's body double in all the explicit sex scenes in The Devil in Miss Jones.

Speaking over the phone from her trailer in Del Rio Texas, Ms. Spelvin told us about how Ms. Pelosi became involved in the adult film industry.

"The day I was scheduled to shoot the explicit scenes for The Devil in Miss Jones, I had a bad case of the clap. When I told Jerry (Gerald Damiano 1970s Adult Film Impresario) about this he blew up. 'J**** F****** C***** Georgina,' I remember Jerry yelling ' you are the dumbest F****** B**** in the world! You're losing me money C***; I don't like losing money!' At this point my friend Harry (Harry Reems was a male adult film star of the early 1970s) walks up and says 'Jerry. Cool man. Cool. I know a dumb B**** who needs bread. Let me give her a ring.' Jerry says 'OK.'

"About a half hour later this skinny Dago bitch walks up. Jerry takes one look at her and drags her to his private office for an audition. A few minutes later he comes out yelling: 'I can't believe it. This DUMB B**** blew the audition.' Jerry takes a while to cool down. Then he says 'We got no choice. We got to use her.'"

"So before you know it this skinny Dago B**** is naked and doing Harry."

When asked why Ms. Pelosi left the adult film industry, Ms. Spelvin replied: "She tried to make a go of it. But she was so dumb she didn't know that a body double is even lower on the totem pole than a fluffer. I heard rumors Pelosi made a low budget, poorly lighted, grainy stag film in Mexico with a guy who had a beer belly, acne and, bad teeth, but I never saw it. I also heard a rumor that the Democratic National Committee was destroying all the copies they could get their hands on."

Pelosi refused to return our calls to comment on Ms.Spelvin's book.

However, Bridgette Napolitano, of Ms. Pelosi's staff did return our call. "Look," she said. "All along we've been saying that Nancy is too DUMB to be a traitor. This story proves it. Just yesterday we had to take Nancy to the emergency room of the George Washington University Hospital because she stuck a finger in her eye when she tried to pick her nose."

In a related matter, the law firm of Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe has filed a $550,000,000 class action law suit against Ms. Pelosi claiming "mental anguish" on behalf of all men who thought they were enjoying Ms.Georgina Spelvin's on the screen only to find it was actually Ms. Nancy Pelosi. A trial date has not been set.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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