Written by Lorenzo Lee
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Friday, 9 January 2004

President George W. Bush has announced today that prostitution shall be legal effective immediately. This means that all prostitutes in all states can now practice their profession without fear of arrest from federal or state authorities.

Only one condition was set: Prostitutes must be 18 years or older, or of voting age.

Church and spiritual leaders immediately decried Bush's decision, calling it "another election ploy", describing his tactics as "immoral and tacky."

"After two years of silence, the president has finally come out and said something about prostitutes during the election year," Reverend Jesse Jackson said. "He's clearly trying to court the prostitute vote, and he might just win!"

Bush, on the other hand, brushed aside all criticism, saying, "All I'm doing is legalizing the world's oldest profession. It's about time!" The President also cited the need for the youth to make their money legally. "We must give in to the times. Our social responsibility dictates that we must be charitable to our beloved prostitutes who work so hard for their pay."

Prostitute leaders lauded the president's decision and lined up the White House gate last night, offering the President "a freebie."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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