Bombshell evidence exploded today in hearings chaired by Representative Commissar Henry Waxman (Democrat-Peoples Republic of California) into the undercover status of CIA Agent Valerie Plame. Members of Commisar Waxman's Government Reform Committee were stunned by graphic evidence showing that CIA Agent Valerie Plame worked undercover. Committee members stared in shock and awe at a video which showed Ms. Palme's undercover activities at the Palladium Hotel in Fredericksburg, Virginia.
"This is my favorite tape, " said Vito Napolitano, night manager of the Palladium Motel in Fredericksburg, Virginia, who graciously consented to give a running commentary on the video he taped of Ms. Palme's undercover activities at the Palladium. "I've taped a lot of strange things that happen in the rooms of the Palladium Motel, but I've never seen a babe, two hermaphrodite dwarfs, and a goat having sex undercover before. I'd thought I'd seen it all when Valerie (Ms. Plame) took on the entire touring cast of Cirque De Soleil, but this mixed specie action is the best I've ever seen."
Cross-examination by the Republican minority on Waxman's Committee was aggressive. Ranking Minority Member Thomas M. Davis III, (Republican-Virginia) was consistently ruled out of order by Commissar Waxman as he persisted in questioning Mr. Napolitano concerning other tapes that he had in his possession. Although Mr. Napolitano implied that he had a video tape of Senator Ted Kennedy (Democrat-Socialist Republic of Massachusetts) and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (Democrat-Peoples Republic of California) engaging in undercover activities, Commissar Waxman ordered this testimony stricken from the record.
Commissar Waxman's victory was short lived however, since his next witness, the goat that had been undercover with Ms. Plame, proved a hostile witness. The goat would not respond to any of the questions put to him by Commissar Waxman.
The hearings were adjourned early when the goat that had been placidly chewing on the stenographer's tape, defecated on the floor, assaulted Commissar Waxman, and began chewing on the politician's mustache as the helpless Waxman screamed for help.
Interviewed later, Commissar Waxman said that he didn't know if the goat would be sent to federal prison for Contempt of Congress or to Mario's Kosher Butcher Shop, purveyor of fine meats.
In a related matter, Joseph Wilson, Ms. Plame's husband, was admitted to George Washington University Hospital for treatment for acute depression and the Malaria that he had contracted on his trip to Niger.