A shocking report released today by the Israeli Intelligence Agency Mossad, seems to offer definitive proof that Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (Democrat-Peoples Republic of San Francisco) funded the purchase of arms by Al Qaeda through the earmarked $58.8 million appropriation for the rehabilitation of the Golden Gate Bridge.
The Mossad report states that the Civil Engineering firm of Achmed, Farouk, Habib, and Napolitano, which vigorously lobbied Ms. Pelosi for the appropriation, was actually a front organization for Al Qaeda. The Civil Engineering firm received $12.7 million from this appropriation to provide design work for the project. However, the firm failed to deliver any plans or designs. Instead it sent $7.5 million through banks in Venezuela to Al Qaeda. The terrorist organization then used these funds to purchase anti-helicopter missles from Iran.
Right-wing radio talk show host Shawn Hannity was quick to accuse Ms. Pelosi of being a traitor. "Is it not treasonous to provide funds to our sworn enemies to buy weapons to shoot down our helicopters and kill our boys?" Mr. Hannity opined on his radio program yesterday.
However, supporters of Speaker Pelosi were quick to rally to her support by saying that it just a dumb mistake. Senator Barbra Boxer (Democrat-Peoples Republic of California) had this to say about Ms. Pelosi: "It was just a silly little oversight. Goodness, we women just can't seem to keep our minds focused on politics all the time. There are so many beautiful dresses and pretty shoes in this world. We girls just are such silly little things. "
Colonel Baruch Rosenberg, a spokesman for Mossad, stated that he found it hard to believe that Ms. Pelosi was not a traitor. "I am incredulous to believe anyone could be THAT dumb-she had to have known that she was committing an act of treason," he said in a phone call from his office in Jerusalem.
However when confronted with Colonel Rosenberg's statement, Bridgette Napolitano, spokeswomen for Ms. Pelosi, indigently retorted "Ms. Pelosi is THAT dumb. If we didn't take her by her hand and lead her to her appointments she'll get lost. We had to remove all the writing instruments from the Speaker's Office because she kept putting the pencils and pens up her nose and other body orifices. Yesterday we had to stop her from leaving her office because she had put her bra on backwards"