Written by Srahim Laceon
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Sunday, 18 March 2007

image for Halo 3 Devs Murdered, Bungie Halts Production
Artist Rendition

Late Saturday night, at approximately 10 o'clock (17 March), three developers of the behemoth Halo franchise departed Bungie HQ in Kirkland, Washington (USA). Marcus Reign, Dominque Neovo, and Sam Kim were all long time employees of the Microsoft owned company. The trio had been putting in massive numbers of hours polishing up some on the graphics of the highly anticipated Halo 3, due out later this year, when they decided to call it a night.

A new employee, who wishes not to be identified, reports to have heard them talking about stopping in the local bar for a couple of drinks before heading home. She had fallen asleep at the keyboard and was awakened by the conversation as the ill-fated passed her desk.

The team was seen later at Valhalla Bar & Grill on 1222nd Street. From this point, details are sketchy at best, (but eye-witnesses have provided an in depth account of what happened, as if they were the guys from Bungee). It is said that there was a newcomer to the local haunt who recognized one of the men from an interview done some years ago. This isn't typical because these gentlemen are the behind the scenes types who normally only appear as the credits scroll.

Enjoying the moment of celebrity, they allowed the man to sit with them as they discussed the publicly known details of the masterpiece in progress. Not too long into the conversation, the man became visibly irate and started speaking loudly about the recently announced $130 price of the Legendary Edition of Halo 3. He was also yelling about something to do with in-game AI character Cortana, saying that she is "too good to have this done to her!".

The Bungie staff seemed to chalk it up to a drunk fanatic and laughed him off. They finished the drinks in front of them and headed for the door. The last images of the team were seen on the security camera mounted outside of the bar as they drove off. Seconds after they departed, a fourth car was seen speeding off from the parking lot and the man who was talking to them was gone, leading to the assumption that he was the driver.

Early Sunday morning (18 March) Marcus Reign was found just feet from his garage door. He suffered one fatal blow from a double bladed sword to the chest. Police say that the wounds somehow were singed, as if the sword were heated before it entered Mr. Reign.

The second of the crew to be found was Sam Kim who was shot in the head from a high powered .50 caliber rifle. At the time of the shooting, Mr. Kim was driving up a hill on a back road, not far from his home only a couple of miles away from Marcus Reign. The shooter fired a single round, through the passenger side glass, killing Sam Kim. Taking into account the damage done to Mr. Kims' skull and the angle from which the shot had to have been fired, the shooter was at least 150 yards away. In any direction, there is nothing other than trees meaning that this sniper fired a shot, on a dark night, in the woods, that passed through the glass in a moving car and hit his target with incredible accuracy.

Finally, and the most bizarre of all, was the body of Srahim Laceon. He had made it home when the assailant caught up to him. There are no signs of forced entry and the cameras that were recently mounted in the Laceon home did not catch anyone entering. It is not certain how or when it happened, but, a grenade exploded in very close proximity to Mr. Laceon. Forensics professionals say that it is not conclusive, but, it appears that it may have been modified with an adhesive of some sort and "stuck" to him prior to the explosion.

The murders appear to be in line with methods used in the Halo franchise to dispose of enemies and considering the disposition of the gentleman seen earlier at the bar, the police have named him a suspect. This man described as approximately 5' 10", brunette hair, with glasses (see rendition above). He was wearing a red tie at the time with a Microsoft tie tack. On the back of his car, a silver 2007 Corvette, there were a number of bumper stickers, one reading "Zune: Take a bite out of Apple" and another saying, "Yes, it's me, and you're poor". The best bit of evidence comes in the license plate from Washington State which reads" Arbiter". Any leads on this suspect should be called in to Bungie HQ immediately as there are police on hand to receive your information.

In a statement released minutes ago, Bungie has announced that production of Halo 3 will be halted until this suspect is apprehended. They will not risk the lives of other employees to simply meet deadlines.

Make Srahim Laceon's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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