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Friday, 16 March 2007

image for Polar Bears Claim Mental Cruelty --Sue Al Gore for $25 Billion
Representatives of the legal firms that are helping Polar Bears Sue Al Gore.

Polar Bears, represented by two of the most litigious law firms in America, have filed a class action suit claiming $25 billion in damaged due to "mental anguish" caused by Al Gore.

The brief states:

"Polar Bears have suffered grievous and irreparable mental anguish because of the way Mr. Gore has portrayed them in his book and movie 'An Inconvenient Truth'. Mr. Gore persistently portrays them as stupid animals who can't adapt to small changes in their environment. Mr. Gore persistently depicts them as too stupid to swim. When Mr. Gore could not find Polar Bears who were willing to participate in the filming of 'An Inconvenient Truth', he resorted to fraud by using computer animated bears.

"Polar Bears object to the manner they have been portrayed by Mr. Gore as cute, inoffensive, morons. They want to shown as they are: vicious predators that can smash in their jaws the head of a baby seal or devour a Polar Bear cub snatched from a mother bear's bosom."

According to the filing each Polar Bear would receive 10 pounds of herring if the case was decided in their favor.

The Polar Bears are represented by two law firms that specialize in class action suits: Dewey, Cheatem, & Howe; and, Goldberg, Goldman, Goldstein, & O'Brien.

Representatives of the law firms did not return inquiries concerning the legal fees involved or the share of the settlement that would go to counsel.

No Polar Bears returned call either.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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