A bombshell was dropped by a surprise witness at the Waxman hearings this afternoon concerning the undercover status of CIA agent Valerie Plame. Speaking with his head covered by a brown paper bag, the anonymous CIA agent testified that he had direct experience of Valerie Plame's status as an undercover agent.
"She was undercover all the way," testified the witness. "Ms. Plame wouldn't perform oral sex unless she was under the cover of a desk. She wouldn't perform oral sex in the open. She said it was too risky. She said it got her friend Monica Lewinsky in big trouble and she didn't want the same thing happening to her. So she jammed her body under my desk before performing oral sex on me."
Representative Waxman (D-Peoples Republic of California) then asked the anonymous witness if he knew of anyone else could testify to her undercover status.
"Yes sir, "replied the witness. "I know of 23 men and 15 women who can testify to Ms. Plame's undercover status. It seems that only her husband, Ambassador Wilson, didn't know of her undercover status. I understand she sent him to Africa so he wouldn't find out."
At times the proceedings were halted so the witness could take deep breaths from an oxygen mask to counteract the build up of Carbon Dioxide in the brown paper bag covering his head.
Before adjourning for the day, Representative Waxman stated that on Monday his committee would examine if Ms. Plame's undercover status also applied to soiled sheets at cheap motels.