Embattled U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales announced today that he will be leaving the Justice Department and will accept a position at Tidy Boy Car Wash in Plano, Texas.
"I have been wanting to move back to Texas and this is the only place that will hire me", Gonzales said at a press conference this afternoon. "I was hoping to get a job as a lawyer or something but a job's a job".
"We have a lot of Mexican Americans working here", said Tidy Boy owner Miguel Herrera. "I'm hoping that Alberto will be able to work his way up to shift supervisor or even manager in a few years. He has an advantage over some of the guys that work for me because he speaks English. And he's here legally".
Herrera said he will not start Gonzales off as a manager because of his poor performance record on his previous job. "His manager said he did a pretty lousy job. If he ran the car wash the way he ran the Justice Department I'd be out of business in a few weeks. A management position has to be earned".
President George W Bush, Gonzales former supervisor, said he fully supports Gonzales new position. "It wasn't my idea to fire him", Bush said. "It was Dick Cheney's idea. I don't have ideas".
Gonzales will be responsible for cleaning the interiors and exteriors of vehicles. As he progresses in his position he will also be responsible for waxing and detailing.
"I'm so proud of him", said Gonzales wife Rebecca Turner Gonzales.