Washington DC - Earlier this week Senate Minority leader Mitch McConnell was asked to comment on his party's blocking legislation to bring the troops home from the illegal war in Iraq.
McConnell said: "Screw the troops, if they didn't want to die for our obscene oil profits then they shouldn't have joined. They will stay in Iraq until the Führer Cheney is satisfied with his profits and power. What did they think some voter desire to save their kids would cause the Democrats to act, or the Republicans to waver? The Republicans will not stop wars until every natural resource has been depleted, or every poor American has died; you think we don't know this war is burning up the life of an American soldier every 9 hours, and $195,000 every minute! We started this war, and we will tell you all when we have had enough."
When the Democrats were asked if they would do what it takes to end the senseless killing and wounding of our troops, Nancy Pelosi said they might look into it.
Recent NSA Intel was intercepted by our reporter, who goes by the name Ultra Boy Umbra, said that most terrorists groups that had been planning attacks against the United States have retreated to caves equipped with satellite TV and reclining chairs, they are sitting back and letting the Americans make new enemies and watching the Cheney Bush Crime Syndicate shred the once revered U.S. Constitution. The groups formerly known as terrorists are now nothing much more than armchair spectators, as America self-destructs.