Written by icybluepen
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Topics: White House

Thursday, 15 March 2007

image for President Declares Victory

White House Press Secretary, Tony Snowjob told the White House press corp. this morning that the remarks made just minutes before by the President were the result of jet lag due to his week long date with his wife where they traveled to south and central America in search of authentic Mexican food.

Mr. Snowjob was at a loss to explain why the President had thought New Jersey had seceded from the Union and reassured the press that no units of the marine corp had made an amphibious landing on the south jersey shore. He continued by saying there is also no Liberty Funds army of New Jersey, that Liberty Funds of New Jersey is in fact a Life Insurance company that has no weapons other than claims adjusters.

After questions, Mr. Snowjob concluded by saying there was no victory in New Jersey in recent history, certainly not this week and there will be no formal signing of surrender papers aboard a battleship over the weekend.

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