Written by Armedus Chunsky
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Wednesday, 14 March 2007

image for General Peter Pace: "Killing Is More Moral Than Gays Kissing"
No other image fit, so enjoy this one.

Ignoring God's golden rule, "thou shall not kill," General Pace called homosexuality, "immoral," and does not feel that it would be appropriate for homosexual people to serve in the U.S. armed forces. General Pace argued that it is clear in the fifteenth commandment (which was on the tablet dropped by Charleston Hesston) that God considers homosexuality to be a sin.

God had contacted our network saying that It had had quite enough of Pace's silly banter. He agreed to an interview, stating in part that he was, "appalled that killing was not considered to be a sin," and "the fact that people consider homosexuality to be a sin is intolerance that I, as God, cannot stand for."

Bill O'Reilly immediately attacked God, saying that he was only part of the, "secular elitist crowd," and that the liberal media misquoted God, who really said, "They hate us for our freedom. Stay the course. Support the surge. The mold at Walter Reed is medicinal so there is no problem. And gay need to be banned from the world just like Hardaway said."

Conservative pundit Ann Coulter was the first to defend General Pace's comments, saying that, "God would also not allow a gay man like John Edwards to become president." However, she is fine with Mr. Gingrich running for president, admiring the fact that he formed the Contract for America. She sees not reason to bash someone just because they had an affair, as long as it was, "not an affair with a gay man or with a lardo."

The Democrats are expected to issue a statement of disapproval, and then back down at the first sign of opposition.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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