Spoof writer and international humanitarian, Breeze, was undergoing radical elctro-shock therapy last night, after a breakdown.
The popular journalist was believed to have been found by police on Friday night, wandering around Belfast City centre and wearing only a pair of Argyle socks and a tin-foil hat.
The breakdown is believed to have been brought on by constantly writing about Antonella Barba and repeatedly staring at her nude photos.
Although the writer's Barba stories have given pleasure to billions and catapulted him to the very pinnicle of his profession, the cost, in terms of integrity and professional pride, has been immense.
In his relentless quest for fame and power, Breeze had turned his back on quality and instead embraced the sordid world of vagina-peppered, underground literature, so loved by radical beatniks like King David and Buck E Filbert.
Fellow writer, Duff, told reporters, "Breeze taught me how to read ...... I'll always be indebted to him for that."
Mark Lowton, editor of 'The Spoof' said, "We are all praying for Breeze, if we lose him we're all fucked"
Mark's brother Paul, who makes the tea at 'The Spoof' agreed, "Yeah, we'd be fucked."
As messages of hope piled in from around the world, 'The Spoof' offices were eerily quiet and the only sounds which could be heard, were the occasional sobs emanating from the writers who had gathered to carry out a vigil for their fallen comrade.
Texan hardman and 60's rodeo star, Jalapenoman, told us, "He's an inspiration to us all....... I don't think I could carry on if he wasn't here." before collapsing into the arms fellow writer Monkey Woods and sobbing like a baby.
God Damn you Antonella Barba ......... God Damn you to hell!