Move over Barbie! Feck off Action Man! Sony are taking over the doll market and hoping to capitalise on the massive success of singer and part time whore Antonella Barba.
"We have decided to create the 'American i-doll'," says Sony chief Lee Kingbladder, "And we will be using Antonella Barba as our blueprint. This will be a doll for a new generation of media savvy kids. She will be sweet and demure but strong yet feminine, she will be able to sing and dance and, of course, ready to give head at the drop of a hat."
The new doll, provisionally called a 'Barba' will be interactive, educational and designed for kids of all ages.
Pull the cord on her back and she will sing 'Don't let your son go down on me' by Elton John or 'Going down' by Freddie King and then gargle the microphone for twenty minutes.
The 'American i-doll' will also be able to murder other songs and manipulate the media by batting her eyelids and flashing her perky tits.
"Hopefully this will encourage kids to use their sexuality to get on in the world instead of relying on any talent or hard work," said chief designer, Bob Sputum, "We're not selling a doll, we're selling a dream. The American dream........ to make enough money in your 15 minutes of fame to enable you to get fat and die before your 40th birthday. If it's good enough for Elvis, it's good enough for us."
"We hope the 'Barba' will go down as well with the public as she did with that bloke in the pictures." joked Mr Sputum.
The 'Barba' American i-Doll will retail at $99.99 and, like it's namesake, will be made from plastic with a shelf-life of around 6 months.
The i-Doll will have a library of songs including:
'Wide eyed and legless' - Andy Fairweather Lowe
'Going Down' - Freddie King
'Oops, I did it again' - Britney Spears
'Come Together' - the Beatles
'Willie and the Hand Jive' - George Thorogood
'Mmmph Mmmmuph Mmmph' - Crash Test Dummies
'Beat it' - Michael Jackson
'See me, Feel me, Touch me' - the Who
'Centerfold' - J Geils Band
'Summer of 69' - Bryan Adams