Written by Joey da dog
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Thursday, 8 March 2007

image for US releases Godless coins
"Trust me, son. Ten trillion dollars can't be wrong."

Some 50,000 brand new George Washington dollar coins have been inadvertently released by the US Mint without the traditional inscription, "In God We Trust".

The mistake was welcomed by atheists who for decades have been crossing the words out on paper money and using rubber stamps to print their own messages, such as "Shop at Wally's" or "George Dubya Sucks".

The new coins are fetching up to $50 each on eBay where they are being snatched up by Black Mass Satanists who are engraving them with slogans like "Hail Satan!", "Lucifer Rocks" or "Get Your Kicks on Route 666", before surreptitiously depositing them in church collection plates.

Bible Belt America was thrown into a state of panic last night, as certain damnation awaits the soul of anyone who touches one of the tainted coins, for according to Revelation 20:14, "All who take the mark will be damned by God to be cast into the Lake of Fire."

A spokesman for the US Mint in Philadelphia said they were aware of the Lake of Fire issue and were working with the International Council of Churches on emergency soul preservation measures. In a move designed to ease the anxieties of the faithful, the Pope has personally offered to buy the coins on eBay for 25 cents each. Anyone accepting the Holy Pontif's offer will receive an authentic electronic blessing and a soul preservation certificate by return email.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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