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Wednesday, 7 March 2007

image for Naomi Campbell will wear Versace boilersuit when scrubbing New York urinals
Naomi with her 'turd blaster'

Supermodel, Naomi Campbell, has told fashion magazine 'Fagwatch' that she will be sporting the new Versace Boilersuit range whilst carrying out her scrubber duties at a New York methadone clinic's urinal.

Glamorous Campbell will be in charge of mopping up the addict's vomit and shit, collecting used needles and putting the urinal cakes in at regular intervals.

One of her special duties will be to keep the toilets from blocking up.

Janitor Bob Nolife told us, "It's important that the U-bends don't get clogged, so we've got a special brush called the turd-blaster ......... it'll be my job to show Miss Campbell how to use it." he added proudly.

Naomi landed the top job after knocking her maid out with a jewel encrusted mobile phone. Miss Campbell claimed that this was how she attracted the staff's attention, rather like turning the television on with a remote control.

The Versace Boilersuit range comes complete with glittery wellies and a cape. It is encrusted with diamonds and sports a very fetching fur-lined collar, made from the pelt of the artic fox.

Director of St Nohopers, in downtown New York, told us, "We're very excited that a real superstar will be coming here to clean our toilets. A lot of the junkies are bunged up at the minute because they are so agitated at all the media interest however, their anal muscles should relax once Naomi gets here and we hope to give her a big warm New York welcome."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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