Washington DC - (Ass Mess): Fears are growing for Vice President Dick Cheney after doctors discovered a leg in his blood clot today.
Cheney, 66, has a history of mental disturbance as well as cardiac problems. Following four heart attacks he was fitted with a pacemaker after failing to show he could run the required distance.
But that pacemaker, named Scooter Libby, was pulled up at the Fifth and now faces being sidelined after serious outing allegations against a former CIA operative.
A quadruple reality bypass under Ronnie Raygun in 1988 failed to make any difference to the heartless old git who continued to cling to the Bushes like nothing else could save him from the traitor's gibbet.
"Clots like Cheney in themselves are not that life-threatening," said a DC specialist source, "but can be dangerous if they become wedged in the Presidential Administration, which could potentially prove fatal if Libby goes down for conspiracy to pervert."
Blood-thinning medication like Lasix has been a popular medication for the Vice President but under the rules of racing such chicanery would ban him from international turf wars where only the rat-killing toxin Warfarin is permissible.