President George W. Bush stepped up the already heated rhetoric towards Iran by last night making good on a threat to "blot out the moon with a mighty-dragon!" This impressive demonstration comes on the heels of increasing tension between Bush and Iranian President, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.
Ahmadinejad expressed calculated ennui,"It was just an eclipse... We have been able to calculate them for 2500 years in my country... Al-Farghani was writing books about them when you westerners were still pagans and sacrificing virgins to Wotan or whatever it was you did."
Ahmadinejad's features were impassive, but in spite of his outward defiance, a note of worry could be detected in his tone. When pressed about this, Ahmadinejad became defensive. "Are you kidding me? Does he expect us to fall for the idea that American technology can now blot out the moon? It was an eclipse! It is a simple matter of the shadow of the earth transiting across the moon!"
When asked if the Iranians planned to pursue moon-eating technology Ahmadinejad became clearly annoyed. "Idiot! Such a thing is impossible! Fine, if you are this gullible, we the Great Nation of Iran will demonstrate, for the glory of Allah, identical technology on.... carry the one... the 14th day of Sha'Ban, this year 1428."
White House press secretary, Tony Snow was troubled by the escalation in astronomical weaponry and in a hastily arranged press conference said that upon further examination, the threat of Iranian moon-eating technology was merely a hoax. "First of all, there is no month Sha'Ban, and if in fact they plan on doing this in 1428, they have some serious catching up to do. Our top scientists tell us that we will be testing this technology on the 28th of August this year, and that we don't expect the Iranian's to be able to make good on their laughable threats."
Farsad Izaak, of the Kuwaiti News Agency KUNA interrupted Snow at this point: "You are aware in the first place that eclipses of this type are natural occurrences..." Izaak could not finish however as Secret Service agents wrestled him to the floor, handcuffing and gagging him in the process.
"Hope you like Cuba! Via con dios moe-ham-ett!" laughed Snow as a struggling Izaak was carried away.