George W bush, president of the United States of America, has stated to a startled Congress, this morning, that he is set to implement a series of radical reforms.
"Firstly" began Bush "The Flag- it's got to go". The traditional Stars and Stripes, loved by all Americans, is to be replaced with a picture of the president holding a megaphone symbolising Bush addressing the world.
Second on the premier's list of reforms was the American constitution. This is to be rewritten as an autocratic system of government with the, apparently omnipotent, Bush in the seat of power. Modelled on the Roman Emperor Nero, it is widely accepted that the current president will live forever and assume command of a single state globe.
"There will also be minor domestic changes" continued Bush "I'm abolishing New Orleans and all other areas affected by recent natural resources; they're broken and are costing too much money to fix".
Bush, evidently seeing himself as a modern day cross between Stalin and Hitler, is banning, in the last of today's reforms, the use of some common words and phrases. It is, henceforth, illegal in the USA, to be heard to utter any of the following:
Inept, megalomaniac, power- junky, lunatic, madman, nut, screwball, crack- pot, crazed psychopath, global terrorist, crank, blockhead, bonehead, idiot, simp, cuckoo, dumb- bell, ninny, moron, half- wit, fat- head, dotard, mug, nincompoop, insane, irrational, deranged, raving, disordered, dork...
...all of which were frequently used as adjectives by the American press, under the old regime, in reference to the beyond reproach, of sound probity, talented Mister Bush.