American Idol judge, Simon Cowell, has admitted that the only real winners on the show are himself and his fellow judges.
The high-trouser wearing pop Svengali told The Spoof:
"The kids that come on here are really just decent karaoke performers. None of them has got what it takes to cut it long term and as we say in England: They'll be tomorrow's chip wrappers"
This callous attitude is said to have angered top TV execs and they are looking at dropping the pint-sized pundit from Fall schedules.
The Spoof further understands that Mary-Lou Mulgrew, a chip wrapper from Wisconsin, is thinking of filing a suit against the diminutive popster for $120,000,000, stating that she has been traumatised by Cowell's side-swipe at her profession.
"Just let that guy come here and wrap chips for a week and then see what he says. Simon Cowell is an a**hole"