Written by Moose&Squirell
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Thursday, 1 March 2007

image for New York City Bans the Word Nigger
I have No Comment. I'm Mulatto.

NEW YORK, NEW YORK--(ROLAIDS) The City Council unanimously passed a symbolic moratorium which carries a stiff penalty against having the word "Nigger" spoken within the city limits. "We have got to, as a society, start taking responsibility for the use of such a hateful and demeaning word as "Nigger" from being spoken in media & in the recording industry" voiced Councilman Leroy Comrie.

Rapper "Big Black Dog", owner & producer of, Nigga, Please" Music and Hymns, was asked about the new ruling and how it will affect his multi-million dollar song business. "Those Damn Honkey Donkeys at the legislature are NUTS!", bellowed the dark-skinned Dog,

"Black people have made great strides in equality since the 1960's and presently the likelihood of a black president being elected into office are affecting closet bigots to punish those who would consider the possibility of such a thing from happening! Ultimately, the blame would be placed on all us Niggers' narrow shoulders. Making us appear as the bad guys!"

Jesse Jackson was also asked to comment on this ruling. He had this to say, "I have no comment really. You see I'm Black, but, not that Black!" N.A.A.C.P. president & CEO, Bruce Gordon, was more forthcoming, "We represent 5 million Negroids from coast-to-coast, I believe the membership would be glad to vote on our own referendum to allow 'WHITEY' the chance to say "Nigger" to a pigment-challenged person and hand that person you are saying this to, a $20.00 bill. then, we'll call it even!"

Reminder: Starting tomorrow anyone caught uttering Nigger, Nigga, or variation of the word like: My Nigga, Fat-Ass Nigga, or even Niger & River Niger, will be facing a three month mandatory sentence.

It would involve 5000 hours of cruel & unusual punishment disguised as community service: Forced Tap dancing lessons, the Art of Jeri-Curling & Hair-Weaving, Soul Train 101, Viewing the 1975 PBS broadcast of a week-long "Salute to Black History" featuring Nipsy Russel & Dinah Shore and finally, hours of staring at photos of boxing promoter, Don King!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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