In a closed door White House ceremony President Bush has bestowed the medal of honor on Vice President Cheney for his heroism during the attack in Afghanistan earlier this week.
Inside sources indicate that the medal was awarded based on several eyewitness accounts of VP Cheney's actions following the bombing. He was seen picking up two fully decked out members of the Marine division assigned to the base and holding them close to his body, he moved rapidly into a bunker complex nearby - undoubtedly saving their lives.
President Bush tearfully declared that the actions of VP Cheney could only be measured by the high standards of honesty and integrity which are the hallmarks of his administration. Later President Bush was heard to say that it was a good thing that the VP had not taken his shotgun with him on the trip or the body count could have been much worse.
This is understandable as it has been disclosed that the attacking unit were a part of the TLA (Talaban Legal Association), a cadre of viscous legal minded Afghanis trained by Halliburton in the 80's.