The US, today, breathed a sigh of relief when Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld addressed the nation with the conclusive evidence, collated by the White House Enquiry, on the identity of the aircraft that struck The Pentagon on September 11th 2001.
Conspiracy theorists, since the fateful day, have damaged the credibility of The White House investigation with claims that the damage to The Pentagon was caused by a government planted bomb and not an aircraft.
"We now know for certain" explained Rumsfeld, "that an aircraft did, indeed, strike The Pentagon. We are aware that the public were sceptical of the enquiries findings since no pictorial or audio/ visual footage was available of the event. I can now reveal the evidence that our crime specialists have provided."
Rumsfeld went on to reveal that the US government drafted in L.A. Crime Scene Investigator Gill Grissom to analyse the security footage of the day's events.
"I had to use an infra- red scanner to examine the tapes" reported Grissom, "and we discovered that the aircraft was a ghost plane."
When quizzed on exactly what he meant Grissom stated that:
"All of the evidence suggests that the plane was a World War II bomber that disappeared over The Bermuda Triangle over sixty years ago. No one could have expected that the aircraft would reappear on exactly the same day as the terrorist attacks or that it would choose to reappear over The Pentagon."
Rumsfeld, this morning, reassured the US public that: "a full investigation will be undertaken to analyse the whereabouts of other known 'Bermuda planes', we don't want this to happen again."
It is not, at this time, clear whether or not Osama Bin Ladin is in control of the famous triangle and can conjure aircraft reappearance at will. A White House source told The Spoof:
"We are taking no chances; we have secured all of the airspace around Bermuda in case of the future emergence of previously disappeared vehicles."