President of the United States of America George W. Bush, following this mornings shock comments about Osama Bin Laden's fate, agreed to give a brief interview with The Spoof reporter Fred Heart.
Heart: President Bush, are you any closer to catching Bin Laden?
Bush: Nope but, as I said this morning, I've worked out what I'm going to do when we've got him.
Heart: And what's that?
Bush: I'm gonna cryogenically freeze his ass. Freeze him real good and hard.
Heart: I see. Can I ask how you came up with the idea?
Bush: Stars Wars- Return of the Jet- Ski. You know... with Han Solo. I fucking love that film, it rocks. I'm gonna do the same to Osama. Then I'm gonna stand his frozen ass on the Whitehouse lawn as a symbol of what happens when you mess with Uncle Jim.
Heart: You mean Uncle Sam?
Bush: No, Uncle Jim. I don't have an Uncle Sam. Say, do you have any more of these pencils? They're sweet. We only have those pencils with refillable leads at the office and they keep breaking. These are sweet; proper sharpening pencils...