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Friday, 23 February 2007

image for Howard K Stern books Elton John for Anna Nicole funeral serenade
Candle in the Wind?

Bahamas - (Ass Mess): Anna Nicole Smith's bereaved partner/lawyer Howard K Stern has said he has asked Elton John to play a Princess Diana type of farewell serenade at the stripper's funeral in the Bahamas. The lyrics* to his famous 1997 euolgy may have to be altered a bit but generally seem to fit the bill:

Goodbye Anna Nicole
May you ever rest assured
That those who knew you best
Knew you'd never be cured

You called out to your audience
And you flashed those big big breasts
Darlin' how in heaven
Can I ever evade arrest?

And it seemed to me
You lived your life
Like a junkie on parole
Never facing that cold turkey
You thought you could always stall
And in your footsteps will always follow
A mountain of legal bills
Because J Howard Marshall
Screwed you of out the goddam will.

Loadsa dosh we've lost
Through no fault of your own
Though the courts ruled in your favor
You were forced to take out a loan

And even though we try
The truth brings us to tears
Darlin you'll always be less famous
Than that goddawful Britney Spears.

And it seemed to me
You lived your life
Like a junkie on parole
Never facing that cold turkey
You thought you could always stall
And at your graveside I'll lay flowers
And bid a fond farewell
Sure hope you goin' to heaven
Cos you sure put me through hell


*Copyright queen mudder promotions inc 2007

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