Written by queen mudder
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Friday, 23 February 2007

image for Anna Nicole's mother vows to bury Stern
The famly crypt

Florida - (ReUterus): Stripper Anna Nicole Smith's mother Virgie Arthur today vowed to bury her daughter's partner lawyer Howard K Stern in the Bahamas.

"Hopefully he'll still be breathin' ", she told a press conference after a Florida judge denied her demands for her daughter's Texas burial.

The 22 stone retired cop was last seen in a Fort Lauderdale hardware shop purchasing heavy earth digging equipment, handcuffs and an electronic cattle prod following reports that she hired private investigators to tail Stern for the last twelve months.

Arthur's lawyers are appealing the Judge's ruling and vehemently denying that their client intents to include Judge Larry Seidlin, Anna's ex-boyfriend Larry Birkhead and Zsa Zsa Gabor's dumbass husband Prince Frederick Von Assfelt in the makeshift internment arrangement if she does not get her way.

Stern's attorney is counter-claiming that J Howard Marshall II was Anna Nicole's father and that Virgie Arthur destroyed the paternity evidence from Texas police records...

Meanwhile in Monaco an increasingly humiliated Zsa Zsa Gabor is threatening to fly to Nassau to stop the public funeral cortege in mid-track unless her husband renounces his claims to the paternity of the dead stripper's daughter Dannielynn.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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