Written by Breeze
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Topics: Angelina Jolie

Friday, 23 February 2007

image for Angelina Jolie raffles vagina to raise funds for Cambodian orphanage
Miss Jolie sans vagina

Compassionate Hollywood Superstar or egocentric, pouty-lipped nutbag?

Angelina Jolie announced that she would be raffling her vagina next week in order to raise funds for a new Cambodian orphanage.

The actress made the decision to part with her furry fun-box after meeting with some Phuket youngsters and hearing of their plight.

The cherub-faced but very smelly orphans live in orange crates outside the Cambodian capital and are forced to eat rats and drink piss to survive.

While most of us would flash a couple of bucks and then get down to the business of finding an underage prostitute, Miss Jolie is made of sterner stuff and decided to do something to help these poor, little grubby fuckers.

"I want my vagina to become a symbol of hope for the needy and disposessed," warbled the Hollywood homewrecker, "It should be a shining light, a place where all the nations of the world can come together."

Indeed......Quite what partner, Brad Pitt thinks of all this is unknown but Miss Jolie is adamant that her genitals will be raffled off to the highest bidder at the Sands Hotel, Nevada, next week.

"I expect to raise at least $500,000," She told reporters, "Of that I will spend £50,000 on a bionic superpussy and the rest will be spent on the orphanage."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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