Spoof writer, Duff, has today claimed that he hasn't a Scooby-doo, who the feck Lindsay Lohan is but has vowed that if she puts bums on seats, then she's the gal for him.
Speaking from his Georgian Villa somewhere beside the majestically slow-flowing Thames, he said:
"I see this girl commands a lot of column inches in Spoofland and I have been tempted to write about her. Only trouble is I know nothing about her at all. Is she on telly or the movies or something like that?"
It's understood that, Mr Duff (25), is intending to write a scurrilous piece featuring Ms. Lohan and quite probably total looper, Britney Spears.
"I can't rule out the implication of some kind of lesbo-love thing going on between the two in my article, or maybe the pair being probed mercilessly during some kind of alien abduction scenario," said Duff, as he counted his vast collection of Constable originals.
Spoof editor, Mark Lowton, is bracing himself for the piece whenever it comes and he commented:
"Duff will have to toe the line here and the strictest editorial policy will be applied to the story, if and when it comes"