Dallas, Texas - (Rotters): Newly discovered footage of President John F Kennedy's last moments shows an armed George Bush Jr stalking the motorcade with personal alibi the Reverend Pat Robertson camouflaged as Noel 'Grassy' Noel just moments before JFK's assassination on Vatican orders.
The amateur photographer who took the footage never believed his shots were important until a Dallas Museum curator confirmed it as 'priceless':
"This is what most decent law-abiding Americans have felt in their gut for over 40 years", he said.
"CIA files were shredded to destroy evidence of the psychopathic hit-man and his low-life accomplices. He'd never have made it without Ratzinger's sponsorship".
The film confirms the Zaprudder footage as an elaborate hoax commissioned by Robertson. In 1963 he was facing extradition to the UK on arms dealing charges after cops identified him as the anonymous headless nude male in photos of the 'Dirty Duchess', Margaret, Duchess of Argyll.
The pictures show him committing an act of gross depravity upon the spatchcocked temptress who had born Raztinger's love child, now a senior aide in the Bush Administration.
MI5 files confirm the calumny.