After all the fallout from leaving rehab after only 24 hours, flashing her crotch at paparazzi, shaving her head bald a-la Sinead O'Connor, and other incidents, Britney Spears' handlers have concluded that "desperate times call for desperate measures". The now bald Britney's managers have hired Tonya Harding to help rehabilitate Ms. Spears once clean image.
No other image consulting firm would touch the radioactive Spears, so Harding, the former figure skater was retained. Harding, who runs the firm out of her Oregon trailer, is not currently incarcerated, works for a reasonable fee, and most importantly, threatened to hit Spears' representative in the face with a hubcap if she was not hired.
The hubcap was from a 1986 Oldsmobile on concrete blocks in front of Harding's office and holds great sentimental value. You see, it was the vehicle in which Harding closed her last deal, the blockbuster with O.J. Simpson.
If Harding is able to pull this reclamation project off, deals with Paris Hilton, and Lindsay Lohan are in the works.