Written by queen mudder
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Saturday, 17 February 2007

image for Robertson slams Anna Nicole the Harlot
Salvation by Pancake Day next week if the check clears

Regent University - (Rotters): Evangelical self-publicist Reverend Pat Robertson has told a press conference that he believes former Playboy centerfold Anna Nicole Smith died as a punishment from God for tempting men into impure thoughts by her surgically enhanced breasts.

"She should have confessed her sins and gotten that load off her chest", Robertson told an audience at his Regent University campus last night.

"I told her many times, repent your transgressions or be crushed by their weight".

And in a furious tirade at her money-grubbing greed Robertson warned that the soul of her former husband J Howard Marshall II 'could face demotion in heaven' if baby Dannielynn Marshall is confirmed to be his daughter conceived from frozen sperm after his death.

"The Lord has warned time and time again. Unnatural practices such as sperm harvesting from dead folks is the devil's way and only breeds trouble.

"It would take a major financial restitution to save Marshall's soul from being sent back to purgatory.

"About 50% of any succesful inheritance lawsuit winnings should just about do it.

"Cheque payable to my Protein-Defying Ageing Pancake Emporium."

Reverend Robertson is 73.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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