Written by Jalapenoman

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Saturday, 17 February 2007

image for Weather, Wind Crack Jet Windshields in Denver
Thirteen jumbo jets were grounded in Denver due to broken windshields

100 mile per hour winds that ripped through the Denver area caused the windshields of 13 jumbo jets to crack while sitting on the runways. The snowstorm and high winds also caused closure of the airport and hundreds of flight cancellations and delays.

When asked how icy 100 mile per hour winds could cause the windshield of a plane that normally travels at over 500 miles per hour (in the colder upper atmosphere) to crack, representatives of Boeing, maker of many of the jets, were stumped. Their guesses as to the cause of the problem were:

1. Maybe the luggage handlers were throwing snowballs or something.

2. Can I use one of my lifelines and phone a friend?

3. Airport winds at ground level are ten times stronger than the forces generated by traveling that same speed at high altitude. You know, kind of like dog years and human years.

4. We plan on creating a think tank to study this problem and will make recommendations on how to stop it.

5. Al Queda and those WMDs again!

6. If I can't phone a friend, can I ask the audience?

7. It was the fault of George Bush and that republican led Congress.

8. The disparity of the warm temperature in the cockpit and the cold, freezing wind and snow outside caused the glass of the windshield to shatter.

9. Did you see the pictures of Britney's vagina? I've got one saved on my cell phone.

10. How 'bout them Colts!

11. Maybe it was because we needed new windshield wiper blades.

12. It happened in Denver? Where's that?

13. I'm on my lunch break right now.

14. Ask the union rep, cuz I don't talk to reporters.

15. Maybe some singer on the muzak system on the planes hit just the right note and caused the glass to shatter.

16. Maybe the wind was blowing birds or small animals around or something.

New windshields were installed on all of the airplanes and they were eventually able to leave the airport. Fortunately, no one was hurt in the incident.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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