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Saturday, 17 February 2007

Florida - Authorities in Florida announced today that Smith's body will be cut up into smaller parts and will be sent to various friends and family members. They believe that this action will settle the matter of who should get the body. They also stated that no embalming will be required because there were already so many chemicals in the body and that so many of the body parts were artificial and therefore not subject to decay.

Authorities would not elaborate on which parts would go to the mother vs which parts would go to Howard K Stern and other pretenders. Bahama authorities have put in a request for whatever they can get their hands on and they hope to cash in on a museum featuring Smith's parts. They admit that business has been slow lately due to the never ending rude treatment of foreign tourists by the locals.

A quasi-religious organization of her followers known as Skanks Against God claims it will file a law suit in order to get a hold of Anna's billion dollar estate as well as her body which they claim is a religious artifact central to their belief system.

Some are already claiming that Anna never really died and that she has been seen working in a local Walmart and others claim she is working for Burger King. Her single wide trailer sits empty and neighbors have commented that it is eerie to see the Christmas lights come on every night all by themselves.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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